The Fundamental Orders of the Sukka Household
by ZutarianNaiad
Summary: To every relationship, there are rules and every house is built on a strong structure. So Sokka and Suki hammered out a few rules to keep things pleasant.
1. The Fundamental Orders

_There is a house on Kyoshi Island. In this house reside the family of two war heroes who are known by more names than I really care to list. To me they are Snoozles and Fangirl. In my various visits I've become aware of what it really takes to make a house a home. It takes rules. And, much to Snoozles's annoyance, every time I visit I require him to read me The Fundamental Orders to see just how many new rules he earned since my last visit._

**The Fundamental Orders**

1) Shoes will be removed at the door (Sokka, there are no exceptions to this rule. I don't care if it's three in the morning that you're coming in—the shoes come off. I don't care if you don't want to smell your own feet. Wash them. Do not track mud, dirt, seawater, oil, wax, or whatever else you manage to encrust your shoes with today in my house.)

2) An organized house is a happy house. Or, Sokka will not mess with Suki's things, and Suki won't nag about Sokka never being able to find a single thing.

3) Just because Suki does much of the cooking does not make cooking woman's work.

4) House cleaning will be split equally, and that is final. (Equally, Suki, _equally_.)

5) No un-called for comments will be made regarding Sokka's smell after a hard day's work.

6) If comments regarding Sokka's smell after a hard day's work are necessary, then they will be made whether he wants to hear them or not.

7) No prior notice is necessary before visits from family. EXCEPTION: When the visiting party numbers greater than five or includes dignitaries or, goodness forbid, a bear.

8) Sokka will not bring animals into the house. The Avatar may bring animals into the house. There is a huge difference between the two, so don't even bother asking "what's he got that I don't"

9) No politics at the table. I don't care who our guests are.

10) No Kyoshi Warrior business at the table _(Unless we happen to be at the table when someone comes in for my help.)_

11) No boomerang throwing in the house.

12) No fan throwing in the house.

13) Suki will keep her makeup completely separate from Sokka's moisturizer.

14) Suki will not editorialize on the subject of Sokka's special South Pole moisturizer. (Even though Kyoshi Island has a _much_ milder climate than the South Pole)

15) Sokka will refrain from mentioning the fact that we live on my island instead of moving somewhere else (because Kyoshi Island is centrally located, do we really need to live on a chunk of ice, and his work can be done everywhere but being leader of the Kyoshi warriors can't be done from anywhere).

16) When Suki is pregnant, Suki is right.

17) Sokka is not "Mr. Mom" just because he's good with the baby.

18) The baby does not need to be exposed to Sokka's experiments.

19) Sokka will refrain from one-upping Fire Lord Zuko when telling stories.

20) Sokka will refrain from getting into fights with guests _just as long as Suki will refrain from getting into fights with guests._

A/N: I just wanted to write something like the Sukka house rules… I may edit/expound on this later...

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	2. Rule One

It's always a pleasure to visit old friends. Especially when all your friends have married young, because then in their early twenties they adopt characteristics of old people while I remain (as my mother insists on saying) "in the blossom of my youth." Give me a break. Granted, it's funny to hear Snoozles and Fangirl arguing like an old married couple, but I do miss them at the Earthbending tournaments. Tch, and it's hard to get a bunch of married friends with their own lives and schedules and politics and places in the community together to just go around and get some bandits or bust some war-criminal heads. Yep, it can be hard being the single one. But man, has it got its perks too…

Snoozles would probably tell you I sneaked up on the house. That'd be a lie, since I don't sneak. So what if I didn't announce myself 'til I was at the door, and I told the mob of kids around me to keep real quiet until we'd surrounded the house? _I_ wasn't sneaking. They were. Anyway, it's a pretty funny picture (and sharp too, with all the kids screaming) just how hard Snoozles' heart was pounding when they surprised him. Granted, I missed a second or two while he was airborne, but by that time I was falling-down laughing at what I had seen. The kids were all giggling and scattering before they could get in trouble with the Big Man of Kyoshi Island (that, of course, being Sokka's title for the male co-leader of the Kyoshi warriors. There's not much sound to it, but I can tell when Suki's rolling her eyes. It's sounds like arguing without saying a word, and people miss it a lot because they're always so focused on their eyes. It's pretty funny, let me tell ya.)

So by that time I'd fallen down, and it was some pretty nice ground on Kyoshi Island in the summer, so I made myself comfortable while Sokka stalked over to his front door. He found me with a guiltless grin on my face, eye open to the sky and arms crossed under my head.

"What's up, Snoozles? You sound different," I said. He had—softer, actually.

"Oh, really? Maybe it's the heart attack you just gave me!" he snapped. "I'm gonna find each one of those kids and—"

"And what? Pretend you didn't do more childish things than that when you were older than they are? Come off it, Snoozles, and invite me in." If he could growl, he would be. But he stepped aside and I got up.

"Don't forget to take off—oh, never mind. Um, maybe wipe your feet at the door then," Sokka told me as I came in.

"No idea what you're talking about," I answered as I came in, judged that the room hadn't changed much since last time, and made for my favorite seat.

"Suki's new rule—shoes come off at the door. Actually—you're not going to believe this—she has it written on this little fancy plank by the door.

"Hm. Sounds visual. Tell me what it looks like." I really don't care about Suki's housekeeping rules—what few she had before now, I have this habit of disregarding because I don't care and I'm never here for long. But something about Snoozles was just dying to talk about this, acting the same way he does when he's dying to talk about inventions, ideas, or stories from the old days. How housekeeping can rank up there with all that is beyond me, but sitting there listening when you don't even really care is what friends are for. He's lucky to have me, so I put my unwiped feet up on the table.

"Okay, it all started about a week or two ago. It's turkey-shark season, and even though they're some stupid suckers to catch, you can only fish for them at sundown out way, way out in the sea." I also really don't care about fishing, so my mind kind of went wandering about this time. "So I came in past midnight—Suki will tell you it was three in the morning, but I had the moon to go by and she'd blown out our time-telling candle—" Yep. Still on the boring parts of the story. "—and next thing I know she's in there yelling at me about fish guts all the way from the door to the kitchen and all the blood. Suki said she thought a monster had come in, except for all my fishy footprints." Man. Whoops. I'd missed the entire Big Fish story and a part about being mistaken for a monster. Considering the fact that Sokka's pointing to his head a lot, Suki probably nailed him in the forehead with a folded fan. Oh well.

"And after that had finally settled down and we go the place cleaned up—I could've been asleep in five minutes after getting the fish in our ice-closet, but _nooo_, Suki just had to have the floors mopped and told me I had to wash up before coming to bed. I hardly got any sleep that night! Sleep!"

"Tragic," I said.

"So later the next day Suki comes in with this plaque, all curly borders and this title engraved at the top: The Fundamental Orders of a Happy Home."

I don't know how long I laughed after he said that. I know I laughed a long time at the title, and a really long time at the title and Suki, and then for another pretty long time at Sokka's reaction to my laughing, and then a long time at everything at once, including the fact that Suki's little rules plaque was still there. I was still chuckling when Sokka continued.

"Are you done?"

Yep, still chuckling. "Probably won't be for a long time. Go on!"

"Well, she _said_ that she told the woodworker to just put 'house rules' on there, but I don't believe it. That'd have to be a _pretty _suspicious woodworker to take something like that and come up with The Fundamental Orders of a Happy Home."

"So what is your first 'fundamental order,' Houseboy?" I asked. Sokka pretended to ignore the name, but I know I got through. Nobody lies to Toph.

"It is as follows, and I quote: 'Shoes will be removed at the door.' Note here how it becomes not a rule, but a personal jibe: 'Sokka, there are no exceptions to this rule. I don't care if it's three in the morning that you're coming in—the shoes come off. I don't care if you don't want to smell your own feet. Wash them. Do not track mud, dirt, seawater, oil, wax, or whatever else you manage to encrust your shoes with today in my house.' One, my feet do not smell bad!" I snickered at this, but Sokka is champion at pretending to ignore my jibes. "Two, it was just some fish guts! And this rule is about more than just shoes—now I have to clean up when I'm done fishing, going out and working, when I'm out with my experiments, and all kinds of other stuff!"

"Yeah—all because she doesn't want to have to clean it up!" I said. Ha ha, thank goodness she's given up on making _me _abide by her house rules already. "So what are you going to do?"

"Well two can play at this game!" Sokka said, getting into the "maniacal laughter" phase of his rant. This can occasionally be my favorite phase—I like being able to see him fall from this creative high he gets himself into. "Just wait until she comes home! Oh, Suki will do something wrong, and then I'll get her! Two can play at this rule-making game!"

"Suki's coming," I said. She'd just gotten to the bottom of their garden path. It was so funny to witness Sokka's gleeful giggle as he went to hide right by the door and pounce on Suki just as she came in. I didn't tell Sokka when she paused right in front of the door to take off her shoes.

"_AH-HAAAaaa—_oh," he said when she opened the door and he jumped in her way, I assume pointing at her bare feet.

"Yeah, shoes off," Suki said in her bright, smiley, self-satisfied yet not pretentious (yet) way. "You know, I thought you resented the shoe rule, but it's nice to see how, um, zealously you're abiding by it." She kissed Sokka then, which gave in interesting picture: Sokka was still angry at being thwarted (he likes the word "thwarted"), still shocked at being thwarted, but he was being kissed by his wife and told he'd done a good job.

Well, interesting as all this is, I said hello to Suki, said I'd be interested to see how the whole Fundamental Orders thing turned out. She and Sokka invited me to stay for dinner—fresh turkey-shark—but I said I'd already made plans for dinner with this really cool hermit I'd met some miles inland. Okay, so I didn't want to hang out with Sokka and Suki for one of their cozy, married-person dinners. Nothing wrong with that. And so what if the hermit I'm having dinner with it only nineteen years old and trying the whole hermit thing to see if it will help him be the world's greatest earthbender? He makes some good curry—substitutes some good old Earth Nation ingredients for the spicy stuff in the Fire Nation recipe, and he's pretty good conversation.

But one thing you can bet on—I'll be back on Kyoshi Island again soon to see what other rules Sokka manages to earn.

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A/N: So, I suppose I ought to dedicate this to all my reviewers, because you're honestly the only reason I'm continuing this little story. (Weeks of posting stuff with absolutely no reviews will do that to a person.) So, people with alerts or faves or reviews, please continue to do so. I'm in this little, review-less slump thing, which at its very worst is just kind of depressing (and nothing serious). But reviews brighten my day, so please consider it. :D

In Christ,

ZN


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